This Is Taos (1950)
by Doughboy Price
THIS IS TAOS
Taos is the only place that has no dimensions. it was laid out by Varas [sic] 6700 feet high. And humped up in places. If ironed out flat, it would be twice the size, completely sunk in Rotten politics. Wonderful climate that sometimes turns Into a howling blizzard. Controlled only by the ports of Entry and that Controlled by politics.
TOURISTS -- Yes, we Have such things, they plan the trip eleven months And get one month of Bitter disappointment. Get home Tired & constipated, broke car knocking tires gone. And a hand full of Indian jewelry (made in Massachusetts). beheld Taos in all Its glory been scalped not by Indians but by everybody.
INDIANS -- Yes, a very valuable Asset, as he can do His own thinking. Gets two prices for a blanket and stays Out of politics. Can see you walk And say three words And tell you What state you are from and what is the best way to scalp You for the most. Crazy, oh yes!
COWBOYS -- Very few, a Cowboy is A politician with his brains knocked out and can be found Most anywhere. He is not needed. Big hat run over boots and doesn't know for sure If cattle sleep in trees or On the ground. Treat kindly he is a species of the Lord's neglect.
ARTISTS -- Yes, two kinds male And female, a species of Humanity that can stand for hours and oh and ah At a clump of aspen trees or a hump in the ground eat a dish of scenery with cream and sugar. Argue the last art Exhibit, and the beauty of a string of chili, a necessary evil.
But come to this land of sunshine And pinto beans. Get some of this Real Estate in your gizzard And grass burs between your toes where women are called "MUJERES" and corn "MICE."
WELCOMES YOU BUT DON'T COME BROKE.
We have plenty now in that condition.
"...in Taos, New Mexico, in 'Doughboy's Clip Joint,' which is what the sign says on the window of his real estate office, an old-time cowpuncher and champion bronc rider, named Doughboy Price, spoke his life story... with his feet propped up on his desk... Mimeographed on one of Doughboy Price's letterheads, under his picture, is the [preceeding] handout entitled "This is Taos"
--B.A. Botkin, A Treasury of Western Folklore, 1951
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